It is really hard for me to keep up with writing. Not because I don't have anything to say, just that I don't know how to say it. I have written a lot of posts that just stay drafts, because grief is so hard to put into words.
I just miss my daughter, a lot. And I want to find the strength to keep going, and to me the most important part of this blog is not how I feel, but her story.
Wednesday, December 18, 2013
Monday, December 9, 2013
the beginning
It has been one day shy of seven weeks since we lost Virginia. Which means seven weeks ago today, I was going into labor, excited to meet my daughter and start the life I'd been planning for almost 40 weeks. But life doesn't always turn out the way you plan it, in fact it rarely does, and I've been on a roller coaster since then. Each day has ups and downs and every movement takes so much energy it's hard to do anything.
I started reading about grief almost immediately after we lost her. I wanted to know the easy way out of hurting so much, but there just isn't one. The only way to get through it is to just go through it, to let it hurt really bad and just hope it gets better. My grief is still so fresh, I know everything will look so different months from now, but right now everything is awful and it's hard to care about anything but Virginia.
Just within the last couple weeks I started reading through blogs and support groups, because it is so easy to feel very alone and like you are the only one who has ever known anything like this, but reading others stories has been the most helpful thing I have done. I have cried reading so so many, and the more similar the stories are to mine, the more I feel for them. I found a blog just the other day called Faces of Loss, and reading it made me feel so connected to so many other parents. I'm not sure if it's still active, because the stories are all from 2012 or before, but it helped me so much I thought I would start a blog in hopes that someone would read the story and feel better. So this is the beginning of this blog, and hopefully I'll do a good job of keeping up with it.
Anyone who finds this can feel free to contact me, no matter what the story of your child is each child deserves to be recognized and talked about, and it can be so hard to find people who understand.
I started reading about grief almost immediately after we lost her. I wanted to know the easy way out of hurting so much, but there just isn't one. The only way to get through it is to just go through it, to let it hurt really bad and just hope it gets better. My grief is still so fresh, I know everything will look so different months from now, but right now everything is awful and it's hard to care about anything but Virginia.
Just within the last couple weeks I started reading through blogs and support groups, because it is so easy to feel very alone and like you are the only one who has ever known anything like this, but reading others stories has been the most helpful thing I have done. I have cried reading so so many, and the more similar the stories are to mine, the more I feel for them. I found a blog just the other day called Faces of Loss, and reading it made me feel so connected to so many other parents. I'm not sure if it's still active, because the stories are all from 2012 or before, but it helped me so much I thought I would start a blog in hopes that someone would read the story and feel better. So this is the beginning of this blog, and hopefully I'll do a good job of keeping up with it.
Anyone who finds this can feel free to contact me, no matter what the story of your child is each child deserves to be recognized and talked about, and it can be so hard to find people who understand.
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